R.I.P Davon-Green Franklin

Head still pounding, body still aching, heart still heavy, I want to sleep until I can convince myself that this "reality" is only a really bad dream.....then I will wake up again. R.I.P Davon Green-Franklin . *I miss you* You were a great man....and you will NEVER be forgotten. 

#Discretion

Everything you know doesn't need to be said. #innersubcomment @myself. #Thatisall 

The Punching Bag

Imagine getting punched in the face over and over and over again. Two things would happen: 1.) It would hurt like hell. You would think that after a while you would get use to it but you never really do. It hurts just as much the 30th time as it did the 1st time. 2.) It would take the prettiest people and turn them into the roughest, meanest, ugliest people you have ever seen and even if thats not who they truly were you would never know because with each scar added to the exterior the more the interior is effected as well. 

This is no different then when people do things to hurt you emotionally. A lot of times people don't realize how hurtful their actions and words are. If you knew where the punches were coming from then it would be a lot easier to combat them. When they come from different directions its A.) Hard to fight them all at the same time and B.) Make you realize that its quite possible the problem in yourself. 

After the last 7 months i feel like this is #thestoryofmylife and today a few things became evident:

1.) People are not to be trusted. This is something I always knew but for whatever reason i thought that maybe because I was in college, Howard University the "Black Harvard" of all places that perhaps people operated on a different level of maturity. I was wrong #DEADWRONG

2.) People are DECEPTICONS. Seriously. I know it sounds funny but I couldn't think of a better way to truly wrap up the character of your average Howard student into a better word. People pretend to care to get what they want and as soon as they do they are suddenly brand new people. This goes for guys and girls

3.) NOBODY is your friend. You have no friends. Please know the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. Just because you know who somebody is doesn't make them your friend. Just because you all smoke, drink, party, and live in the same dorm or apart of the same org does not make your friends!

4.) Fourth and perhaps most importantly..... maybe this just applies to me.....maybe. I feel like my entire life I have been the worlds punching bag for one reason or another. When I was younger it was because I had things other people didn't. A cell phone in the fourth grade?? #wheretheydothatat?? As I got older it was because I was the extremely confident, overly competitive girl in high school who was captain and president of everything imaginable. 

But as for now....I don't know. I have come to the realization that here at Howard it is deeper then the exterior materialistic things with most people and yet I still can't pinpoint what the issue actually is. I wish I could because I feel if I knew what it truly was I could do something about it. I guess until I figure out I will continue to play the part of the "the punching bag." 

I actually think I am becoming quite good at it....sad I know :( I just hope people dont begin to question my standoffish, bitter, Fuck with me if yu want to attitude ....i guess if they do I can just direct them here. 

FASHION WEEK 2010

Things have been on a down swing for me lately but the other day I got the most exciting news ever! I have been chosen to assist in this years New York Fashion Week 2010. The opportunity to be behind the scenes, network, and just be there is AMAZING. What makes it even more amazing is the fact that a really good friend of mine has also been chosen to be of assistance during Fashion Week. I was kinda bummed on not having a valentine but who cares?!? I will be with the love my life FASHION, in the one place that has always had my heart NEW YORK, with one of the people closes to my heart @TAHIRAHHAIRSTON. Seriously couldn't be more geeked then I am right now. Most importantly I have a great excuse to go shopping!! Anyways I'm debating on what to wear to my first day on the job. Any suggestions ?!?

Deja Vu

Deja Vu.....I feel like I am in High School again, Seriously. Aside from getting a great education and having a different experience, I was sooooooooo looking forward to getting away from the immaturity. I feel that I have always been just a bit more mature then those around me and I assumed that Howard would bring together the best and the brightest from all over the country and that I would be leaving immaturity in exchange for young adults who could agree to disagree and enter into what is known as civil discourse. Clearly I was wrong, DEAD WRONG. The carrying on, the name calling. the two-faceness, it'a never been my style and I have never dealt with it well when coming from other people.

This weekend has been no different. I am at a point where I've decided I need to begin stop caring so much about wanting everyone to like me and start cutting people and things out of my life that are not going to help me in progression towards ultimate success. (Bahhhahhaa evil scientist laugh) But no seriously. I am soooooo over people, And to think that I use to be such a people person. smhhh.

There should be some sort of maturity and character test before you are admitted into the "Black Harvard" as we like to continuously reference ourself. Though academically smart, I have noticed that many people here have #weak character and are emotionally unstable.

I guess I got my hopes up when expecting more or different from people who have the nerve to call themselves adults (sarcastic smirk) #ohwell

Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I am sorry I have been neglecting you. Oh how I miss you dearly . . . One day soon I will return. #thatisall

New Year; Same Bull...

With the anticipation of a new year comes the excitement of letting go of "bad habits" and working towards better ones. Every year - Myself included, millions of people think that at the stroke of midnight everything will just change. Suddenly you'll be able to put yourself on a strict diet, suddenly you'll stop drinking or smoking, suddenly your gonna just stop caring about some guy from your past, but the truth is old habits die hard.

A new year does not equate to a fresh start. Nobody forgets what happened months prior because the year has changed. As much as I wish a new year meant new beggings the truth is it doesn't. For me that became evident last night.

I don't like to reference particular people or situations because thats not what this blog is about so I wont but I will say this, if nothing else this past year has taught me this: Be careful who you trust. I have come to realize that I have always been naive in thinking that everyone has my best interest at heart. This goes for both sexes. Be careful who you consider your friend vs. acquaintance. It is essential to know the difference. Most importantly, be careful who you trust with your emotions because when not managed correctly, they can be a DANGEROUS thing!! (More on that some other time). Just always remember not what you want, but what you deserve. It's easy to forget when your emotions are too caught up in one person or situation.

For me this New Year means more then empty resolutions and unattainable aspirations, it a chance for me to reevaluate who I am, what I will and will not stand for, what I want in life, and what it will take to get there. This New Year didn't quite begin as pleasantly as I had hoped for but I have promised myself to make a conscious effort to have it end as planned. Things change all the time but I will look back at this year and know that I gave my life the effort it deserves.

HAPPY 2010 TO EVERYONE . . . Live. Laugh. Love & By All Means Be Fabulous !