As I lay here, clothes FINALLY packed and room clean I'm unsure of what to make of my first semester as a freshman in college. My first thought is that the whole semester was just a huge tweak! I partied more then I should of, got B's in classes I should have gotten A's, and of course fell for the wrong upperclassman guy. I mean I wouldn't have fulfilled the freshman "cliche" if I hadn't lol. Now I can beat myself up for all this (and trust me I have) but as I look back in retrospect it was all a learning experience that, I am essentially grateful for.
I have been in some pretty crazy situations, made some not so good decisions, and dealt with some pretty out there things this semester but most importantly I have learned ALOT. I have learned so much about myself, other people, and the world around me as a whole. I don't regret anything because with every L was a learned a lesson or gained experience that has changed who I am for the better. For this too I am grateful.
Don't get me wrong though, this semester hasn't been all bad. I have met some WONDERFUL people from all over the country. The friendships I have begun to build this first semester mean the world to me. I have had the opportunity to serve on student council as well as work for THE HILLTOP. The ONLY daily collegiate paper in the nation! I know it's early but it is safe to safe that I truly love my Hilltop! I have grown to have a better understanding of who I am, what I want in life, and what I need to get there.
As I lay here ready to depart for this world I have quickly grown accustom to, I leave with this: Every situation is what you make it, people will only treat you the way you allow them to, and most importantly just be yourself in everything you do (cliche I know). First semester at Howard University has been the most exciting, disappointing, wildest, confusing, emotionally tagging, amazing experience of my life and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm more prepared then ever for what college has to throw at me and I am excited to see what next semester brings my way!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Ok, so yesterday I briefly touched on the saga of of a Shopaholic. Well i've been doing pretty well (or atleast I think I was) but today (for the last 2 hours) I went bananas. Usually I can pinpoint why. Sometimes it's major like a break - up or huge dispute with a friend. Sometimes it's as little like a C on a paper or the parental frustrating me. But tonight....idk.
It could be the anxiety of my last final, the anticipation of going home, but as I write I think it's coming to me. Usually when I shop obsessively it's for a negative reason but I feel my "addiction" (and I use that word loosely) taking a turn for the better because the truth is I feel good. Real good. Better then usual. You know that deep breath of freedom that fills your lungs when you think about someone who not to long ago meant the world to you (or not but felt that way at the time) but you can safely say you've moved on? Yeah it was one of those and that positive feeling gave me the urge to shop!
Now I shop when I feel good and bad and since there is usually no in between with me, what does that mean for my Visa card statement.....OH NO LOL!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
With school, work, social life's, and everything in between many students including myself often forget the significance in taking time to do things to benefit themselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise. Today I took a personal day to cater to these forgotten aspects of my being.
Many people laugh when I say this but for me shopping is truly therapeutic. Something about moving through racks of lifeless clothes hanging solo on hangers and placing them with just the right thing else where in the store for eventual purchase does something for my spirit. A natural high that only a fellow Shopaholic could understand. Some people drink, others smoke, but Milan... well she shops.
After my excursion to Chinatown I came home and change for a 5:00 yoga class. I use to workout routinely before I began college. It's amazing how a change in situation could change the basic things about person but I will save that saga for another time. In the beginning it was difficult for me to clear my mind to a place where I could center myself. Though, when I was able to bring myself to that place a transformation happened with my psyche. After clearing my head of the non-sense that usually occupies it I felt a feeling of freedom from life's problems. I literally felt lighter as a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I even noticed it was easier for me to just breath.
With day to day activities and responsibilities many things are thrown to the waste side. In closing I urge you all to take the time to do the little things that make the biggest difference. For some that might mean waking just aliitle earlier to take a jog before class, for others it might mean taking 30 minutes out of your day to read your favorite fashion blogs, shoot for some it might mean rolling that blunt before you go to sleep (I don't judge) but whatever it is do it! Get on your Nike status and JUST DO IT !
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Sooooooo I`ve been wanting to create my blog for the longest and just haven't found the time to actually do it. With a final that I am absolutely not prepared for in 4 days I thought there is no better time then right now! I know your thinking I'm crazy and should probably be doing nothing but studying but the truth is at this moment there is too much going on in my head to even begin to focus on sociology...urghhh.
Like many before me, I am guilty of recklessly using public social networking sites as a way of venting. Don't judge me. We all do it at one point or another but this blog will be different. No character limits, no trending topics, no knowing who's "following" me. Just my feelings, thoughts, opinions, and perspectives on the myself and the world surrounding me.
My disclaimer: This blog will portray the REAL me. Not the me you think you know, the me I might front to be, or the me you want me to be but the REAL me. I will warn you it might think I'm being ratchet, weak, disrespectful, tacky, bougie, etc but I promise it will be REAL. For those who know me and even those who don't, I feel as if I am a very mis understood person at times. I almost never walk outside without my hair done, make-up in tact, and outfit perfectly coordinated and while I do take pride in my appearance at many times I feel like this is a cover-up. The hair, the make-up, the clothes sometimes translate into a wall that I have subconsciously put up that essentially has become me because it's been there for so long. Hmmm does that make sense??
Anywho, for those who wish to take a look into a always growing, sometimes confused, often scared, but does her best to never let it show girl, this blog is for you. Welcome...